
My dad was not only one of the most successful and charming people I knew, but he was also the funniest. Rip your heart out and throw it down the kitchen sink disposal kind of brutal. There are some things that I believe should stay personal, but just know it was brutal. I won’t get into everything that happened during the months in-between the day I found out and the day he passed. I didn’t understand half of what my parents said on that call after that, and the things I did understand, I didn’t want to. I felt like someone had sucker punched me in the gut.
#I cant clone mysafe brittany be my bae tv
Cancer? What the fuck… Cancer was just a dirty word that I heard from friends of friends, or on TV while I cooked dinner. I knew whatever it was, wasn’t good, but I could tell they didn’t want to upset me too much since I was roughly 6 months pregnant. I could hear in their voices that something was wrong. I got a call from my parents, both of them (which wasn’t normal). I was standing in the garage of our old house attempting to organize something long overdue. I still remember where I was when I got the call from my parents telling me that my dad had cancer.

He was the type of person that filled a room the minute he walked in. My mother-in-law liked to joke that he was secretly the man from the Dos Equis “world’s most interesting man” commercials. He could pretty much do anything he set his mind to and not only do it, but do it well. For some context, Alex used to say he was a real renaissance man. He ran a company, golfed 5 days a week, and used to consistently kick my ass in pretty much everything we did (although I rarely admitted it). My dad was one of the healthiest, happiest, most incredible people I knew. Don’t get me wrong, no one is perfect but simply put, I was blessed in the family department and have always been very grateful for that.įast forward to 2-3 years ago when I was pregnant with Kinsley. I was blessed with two incredible parents who love/loved me without bounds, and a brother who has been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember. My entire life my family has been extremely close. I’m going to be very honest, I never expected this.

We need different things, express love in various ways, and most of all handle grief in our own way.īefore we get into all that, let’s rewind. We all have eyes, a nose, and a mouth, but we aren’t all exactly the same. If there is one thing I can tell you, it’s that grief looks different for everyone. Maybe grief has looked different for you, and that’s ok. It’s not a fun club to be a member of, although, I know many of you are from talking to you. Maybe you’ve never experienced anything like I have. I’ve walked through it, I’ve lived with it, and today I’m finally ready to share my story. Instead, I’m just a girl who has been through some really hard shit.

I want to start with a disclaimer: I am not a therapist, a doctor, or anyone claiming I know what is right. I’ve tried to sit down and write this post so many times, but the truth is, sitting down to write means reliving everything I’ve been through in the past two years.
